I can't do anything. How do I lighten my heart when I feel helpless?


Don't you feel there's nothing to do with yourself?

A sense of helplessness is giving up or feeling empty, such as "I have nothing to do," "I have nothing to do and I have no value," or "I feel useless no matter what I do." It's hard to lose sight of yourself and not be able to hope. Isn't it a feeling that everyone has had at least once?

Why do you feel helpless?

□What I've worked so hard for so far has not paid off.

□When you fail

□ I can't accept myself and take it negatively

□ I often feel depressed comparing myself to others

If you continue to be unable to control the situation yourself, your immune system will weaken and you will feel helpless. There may be a lot of hard workers, sincere people who meet people's expectations, and hard workers.

Lesson1. Let's develop a sense of self-affirmation as it is.

Let's think that the place to go of the feeling which had the feeling which had the front temporarily disappeared to feel helpless. It can be said that it is an emotion that I have only because I have an ideal and a desire to improve, saying, "I should be able to do more."

Still, there are moments when you feel helpless and it becomes painful. First of all, let's develop the power to accept oneself as it is = self-affirmation without blaming oneself.

If you think "I can stay as it is" or "I can stay here", my heart will surely become lighter.

I'll take your side with any emotions.

To love yourself as you are, make any emotions in you on your side. Accept negative emotions and try to talk to them softly. I realize that I feel relieved just to repeat my emotions as they are, such as "You don't get motivated at all" or "You compare yourself to other people."

Make yourself a fan

Gratitude leads to a sense of self-affirmation

When you have a feeling of helplessness, you tend to block your feelings of "I have nothing to thank you for." Let's think about "gratitude" in casual scenes of everyday life. For example, about "a cup of coffee in front of you".

To the clerk who brewed the coffee, to a pleasant customer service, to drink the coffee here and take a breath. When you realize that you can be grateful, it leads to the significance of existence and a sense of self-affirmation: "the joy of living" and "I can be here."

Just because you don't realize it, it's always overflowing to make you happy!

Lesson2. Change the habit of thinking "Self-produce"

You are free to think about anything. In that case, let's change the thought boldly with the intention of becoming "other person". I self-produce myself to be who I want to be. You will feel the excitement and lightening of your heart.

Self-produce while having fun

I can't do anything. 」

When you think that you can't do anything, your brain finds out why you can't do anything. I used it to say, "What can I do?" Let's shift change to.

For example, we cook rice for our families, listen to children, and greet people with smiles.

It's not a matter of course. Please praise yourself firmly.

You are still doing what you can do today.

Anyway, I should be able to do it.

Let's choose the one different from usual because it is free even if it thinks whether "I am anyway" or "I can do it". It is strange because the word is called the word spirit, and it becomes a feeling that it is possible to do really.

Even if you are about to be pulled back, try to be aware that "I can do it" as many times as you like. I'll protect you.

Remove restrictions on oneself

People unconsciously put their restrictions on themselves, saying, "Don't do this." For example, do you ever think of things like "Don't show yourself weak" or "Don't ask people for help"? You can show yourself weak, or you can ask people for help. You can live freely as you are. It's up to you to remove the limit!

You don't have to try to be someone else.

Let's compare you to an apple of fruit. Let's say you're jealous of small, sweet and sour blueberries. But I envy you that blueberries are red, glossy and juicy apples.

Everyone is just asking for something they don't have. Let's observe ourselves more. The smile is nice, the eyes are gentle, the voice is cute etc, and you just taste the excellent part well.

You don't have to try to be someone else♪

Lesson3. If you feel helpless, "Four work that lightens the heart"

1. Let's reframe the topic.

"Half a glass of water" is often served as an analogy. If you think that there is only half of it, but if you change your perspective by reframing and think that "there is still half", the situation will change. Let's think about your personality and "no self" using reframing!

[An example that the way of thinking changes by reframing]

□ I don't have one → Cooperation, receptive, empathetic

□ Easy to get depressed → think seriously, think deeply about things, humble

□ Jealous of people → There is an ideal, there is a desire to improve

□ Passive → do not get on the tone, calm down and stick, calm

□ Weak- to be cautious, to take good care of people, to be cautious

Why don't you make your own "reframing notebook♪

2. Circle of Five You average five people around you!

"You are the average of five people close to you around you", which is a saying that you will be influenced by five people who are close to you (not distance) now. It became a hot topic in the graduation speech of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Write down the names of the five of you and where you like them.

Whose face came to mind? Write down your name and favorite place. It's also your freedom to choose who you want to be with, such as a warm senior with a smile, a friend who can clearly convey your opinion, or someone who is worried about you♪

I thought I had nothing, but if I think it's the average of the five people around me, it gives me courage.

You are the fifth person for someone. Don't you feel happy?

Immersive speech at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology graduation

3. Let's visualize the sense of helplessness concretely

If you feel helpless that you don't have the ability, think a little more specifically. It is recommended to export and visualize. I think that the act of writing seems to admit it and it is painful, but it is actually the opposite. If you remain vague, your anxiety will only grow.

Example of visualizing "I have no ability"

(1) What kind of ability is not specific?

→ The ability to get along quickly with people

(2) In what situation?

→ Parent-child classroom and child-rearing plaza

(3) How long is there?

I can't talk much to people I've never met before.

(4) How long is it?

→ Let's talk a little from the second time

(5) Who do you feel you don't compare with?

→ My friend A-san

When I tried to write it down, I became calm and noticed the part that I had been convinced of.

4. Let's thank "what is now" with "Happiness Diary"

By looking back on the day and writing down your happy feelings, you will gain a habit of looking at what you have now and thanking you. If you feel helpless, write a "Happy Diary" or look back at what you have written before. You'll feel calm and feel like you're going to look forward.

"Happiness Diary" is recommended for those who do not have a habit of diary, and those who do not know what to write in a notebook!

It is a big feature that the purpose is clear and easy to write because it is by category such as "I was happy" and "Good thing". It is a nice point that the number of lines is small and a simple place.

Write every day and notice the happiness you have now♪

The trouble will be the food that will support you in the future.

Even if you feel helpless, you can feel safe if you know how to lighten your heart. Even if you don't feel the results right after trying a lot of things, you don't have to be pessimistic or blame yourself for not making enough effort. First of all, please try to put out all OK to any emotion. And, let's look at "what can be made" and "what is now" and thank you. The worries and pain you are having now are always linked to the future as food.


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